Friday, December 12, 2008

It's been a hard one!

So I have been having a super hard time lately. There are so many things in my life that are causing me stress and at times I am not sure what to do about it all. Let's see so work is one of the main sources of my stress right now and at times I feel like I am going to end up crazy dealing with all of the shit! There are just so many things about the agency that have me upset, like the idea that I was supposed to have a raise by June and still there has been no raise, I am really upset about this as I feel that they should not have represented things this way when I was hired if it was not something that they planned on following through with. Also recently I got a flat tire in my client's driveway and I was told that there could be a possibility of them paying for the tire that was destroyed while on the line of duty at work. To date nothing has been done and when I have asked about it most of the people I am asking are simply ignoring me and not following through with things. Honestly no matter what happens to me from here on out I can honestly say that since this is by far the worst place that I have been employed with at this time I think that I would like to find employment some place better. If things were worse I do not know what I would do about this as there are so many problems that I am just about to freak out. I actually hope on a daily basis to be able to be fired as then I could get unemployment while I looked for something else. Things are just not going well and all in all it has been a horrible work experience being here.

I am going back to school in January. I am going to be working on earning my prerequisites to be able to attend medical school. I am tired of working full time and worrying about how the bills are going to be paid. Yep, I want to be able to make all of the bills on time each month and have a savings and have things paid off and overall to not worry about things at all. So the MCATs will be soon and that kind of scares me as these were not my top subjects in school but I am sure that I have the ability with studying and hard work to do well at whatever challenge is placed in front of me. At least now while I am interviewing my future employers are all aware of my plan to go back to school and they are all aware that I am working hard to accomplish certain goals and have certain achievements in my life. I am looking into a lot of part time jobs and if I get this really cool one at the Center for Prevention of Abuse then I am going to attempt to find a breakfast waitressing job for the weekdays that I could work with said schedule that way my job and school would be the normal Mon-Fri. I might look into some lunch time waitressing jobs as well. I just think that these would give me the same amount of money and I know that there are great opportunities for private health care through the state now so I am not too concerned with that either.

The kids are doing great. Andrew has started a journal and we are working on finding the time to work on it every day. I think that journaling is a great outlet and I love that I am able to work with him and give him those skills at such a young age. Other than that, well life is life. There are always good things to deal with and always bad. The bad for now seem to be work, court coming up and finances but the good far outweight these areas, like my two awesome children and my amazing relationship and boyfriend who is so encouraging, the fact that I am able to go back to school, my little brother's support as we are going to attempt medical school together, the fact that I have all that I need and a beautiful home to have it in. Also that I am able to have food on my table and these things, all of which I know are such a priviledge in a country where there are people who are starving on a regular basis, something that I would not really know anything about.

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